the pitfall of selfpity

Hey! are you selfpitying yourself feeling stuck on the job? Let me tell you this, every day you stay.. is a day further away from your ideal life. I see people complaining about the job they’re in. I can imagine, yes ofcourse, but complaining won’t open any new doors. Instead accept the place you are in now and start taking action towards where you want to be. It has two very big advantages. One: you are not sucking others into your negativity. Two: you are transforming that negative feeling in yourself. Getting unstuck!

From the moment you have decided that you want to go into another direction and actually take real steps to achieve that you will feel a relief in yourself. You will feel the negative feeling becoming less and less. Why.. because you are now acting on your inner navigation. Every move against your innervoice or innerknowing, or not moving will make you restless. Because.. deep inside you know you want to move but you are not!

Don’t waste your time building up a feeling of discontent. Maybe it’s what you need to get in action but… selfpity will not built you up. It will drag you down and take your crown. Chances are that you get into a passive state feeling sorry for yourself. Nobody is pittyful, everybody can take action. We all have opportunities yet sometimes we have to create them. We have to signal them and act on them. Start looking around. Get something moving in yourself. How?

  • Look for your passion every day. Magazine, social media etc. Get the feeling alive
  • what is it you want to do? write down 20 reasons why
  • read them to yourself every day. Keep the feeling alive
  • make a visionboard of your ideal life/work etc
  • how do you see yourself? write a story of who you are in detail, reinvent yourself
  • promess yourself to take one action step a month a week or whatever feels good
  • share it and let someone hold you accountable

Get into action! Action takes away the helpless feeling and gets you into a upward spiral. Dreams do not come alive by complaining it will only keep on raining 😉


don’t wait for your dreams to die

get moving

learn how to fly





A sad truth

I read this statement this morning: ‘No one ever got rich from working in a job from 9 to 5″… and to me this is such a sad truth. Because it is where so many people are at this moment. And if you do earn a good job then.. at what cost. Working shifts all day, all week. Putting in all your hours. All your spare time given away to someone elses life instead of your own?

I know how it feels, i’ve been there and looking back I can now see that i’ve been fighting that feeling all these years.. The rut of the same every day.. over and over again. Like ground-hog day but worse. You know what’s coming.. you brain is preparing to do the same patterns every day again. You are on automatic pilot. Controlled by an outside system that provides. No surprises.. no adventure.. no unexpected things in your life. Just the same boring all day.. all day. Well of course.. boring can be very safe and from time to time.. sure we can choose to live that way but in the end it’s not the way life is supposed to be lived. And it does not make you rich.

Why am I talking about rich? It’s not about the money.. yeah it is, but differently. You see, money provides freedom and freedom feels like richness. So even if you don’t manage to reach the outraged material financial richness .. it’s not about that. It may well be, but more over it’s about the freedom you achieve from being your own boss. Maybe you experience a lot of freedom in your actual job because of your position and you already feel a bit like your own boss but.. at what cost? Find that place where you have more freedom to decide about your own life. And that might even be in a job, but one where you have more voice at less cost. More freedom to create. More freedom to design your hours. More freedom to choose the place to work from.

  • how would it feel like to live your life according to your own natural rhythm (early bird, nightingale 😉
  • to just have that extra hour in the morning to see your kids wake up
  • to just be home a little bit earlier so you enjoy your dinner more and more relaxed before you go to the next activity
  • to decide whether and when and for how long and how many times you want to go on a holiday.
  • to act on your feelings/inspiration because you know you can create the time and space.
  • Sometimes such wonderful things come on our way but we have to say no.. because we’re so imprisoned in our lives that are ruled by our “jobs”.. that are rule by our boss.
  • To be flexible and enjoy the weather when it’s beautiful and schedule your things on a more convenient time



But if you are reaching for total freedom think of this..maybe there is a struggle, maybe the risk is high.. but if you can take it, if you dare take it, then take the chance to feel what it feels like. You may not want to go back once you’ve tasted freedom.

And remember this.. we are never forced to take higher risks than feels good to us. There are always ways to first meet half way. To have that passion, that freedom and to have a job on the side. You are the one to set the risk high or low. You decide where and how fast you want to go. But if you go… go for richness.






Would that hold you back?

If you were tested on determination, patience, faith and more of such what would be that point where you would give up? What would be that moment when you decide that you are not fit for the job? Not destined to do what you want to do? Let me turn around this concept because it’s the other way around.

If you have a passion you just know you never stop because it is who you are. It’s what you are by nature and you feel it. You just take it to the next level every little step by little step. And even if you feel like you are stuck you don’t quit because you know it’s just this challenge for you to grow and take it up a little bit. Anyway.. you do not question if you will be doing this any longer.. the only question is what is the next thing I have to do to grow and get stronger. You simply enjoy it so much that you keep going anyway. Each and every day.

So what if you don’t get pleasure out of it anymore? You start doubting, asking yourself if you took the right path… I guess you are then mostly doing it for the wrong reason. You want to be acknowledged, you want success more than you love to do what you do. Try changing your focus. It’s all about love, loving what you do, your passion and wanting to give it and share it with the world. If it must.. for free. That is Passion with a capital P.

It’s all about the journey.. not the destination. Remember this quote? Well if you manage to take your focus to the moment and enjoy your growth, every little pleasure that you get out of giving and sharing who you are.. then things will start moving swiftly. The Universe is not about fulfilling needs or greeds it’s about delivering desires, about creating passionate fires that origin in and are shared/given out of love

keep following your heart

keep feeding your passion with that fire

enjoy every part

that takes you higher

The fear of letting go of all that is you and getting into the wild of your dream.

If you feed your fear don’t forget to fuel your dream as well. When we start to feel connected to our dream a normal reaction for the brain is to go into resistance. So.. you know you are going to encounter some resistance. When you don’t fight this you will be able to look for the next step.. so surrender to the possibility of your dream becoming your reality in daily life. How would that feel? Imagine a little… fantasize a little. Feeling better yet?

The thing is, what most of us do…. we start negotiating with fear.  We have a daily subconcious conversation with it being swayed all over the place. This is when your dream starts to make you feel uncomfortable. Ofcourse your ego will have many many options to put fear into your system. After all, what we’ve been doing for all these years has become our identity, our financial security, our selfworth etc. But… should this then be all that you are for the rest of your life? Are you a statistic fact, never changing or rearranging and growing into a different more expanded person.

When you realize that this is where you are in now…. start shifting this feeling. You can do this in the first place by feeding your new desired life / part / identity as much as you feed your fear. You will see that when you have the courage to feel this new you, you will get excited and you will want to start taking action. Probably the fear will become a  little less heavy and the more you fuel your dream.. taking little action steps towards it, the easier you will detach from all that you think you were or had to be.

Write down all the things you are afraid of, then on the other side of the paper write down what you can do to compensate for this. For example you don’t have to make a complete switch. You can start by combining your job with your new “career”. Afraid of loosing your social contacts? Start building a new network before you make the big step. Financial issues? what other resources can you employ?

The biggest fear usually lies in letting go. And thinking that we have to let go EVERYTIHNG at ONCE. Remember you are the captain of your life and opportunities are created. So take the lead and start designing. It’s the least you can do. And.. by doing so.. by putting down on paper what it is that you really want you are generating a lot of clarity. You are putting down an intention for things to be. This will draw to you all you need to take the next step. By that you will start building trust in the process and in the end you may even have no trouble surrendering to life. To this bigger part of you guiding you through. Trust and surrender that things will work out and start enjoying the journey.




A cacophony of 50.000 thoughts a day

You have 50.000 thoughts a day. Did you know this fact? And do you know what it feels like to listen to them all? Yeah..we probably do. A lot of us fall. Fall for this cacophony of thoughts. Instead of creating their own song they just go along with all that is served not seeming to know that life is a buffet to be ordered from. Your thoughts are too. That’s where it all begins. They will present themselves to you accordingly to the emotional state you are in and it is up to you to sort out the best of thoughts and create yourself a nice plate. Would it not make you crazy….I mean how nice would your plate of food look if you would put it all on there at once. Including all the unwanted things. Not a nice dish eh…. The trick is to take what you need to bake the cake.

Live in your own bubble

Pick the ingredients that you want to use… don’t put in something bitter if you are a sweet tooth. It will just ruin the cake. So now.. what are those beautiful ingredients of your dream? write them down… and make another list of the bitter stuff that is ruining the good taste. Imagine the contrary of the bitter ingredient and write it down as well. For every negative aspect of your dream you do a focus switch. So for all of those fearful thoughts you are gonna have to get creative and find a better one. But you can do it! And if you think you cannot then I suggest you start dreaming. Dreams reach beyond the seams of this illusion. For to create we have to be able to surrender past the illusionary, fantasize away and live in a world of imagination. Then you will start to attract more fitting thought forms to choose from.

Fantasize away

So if you don’t like what you see try to be as unrealistic as possible. Raise the quality of your thoughts and then choose wisely. With the change of your thought comes the change in your environment and everything that no longer serves or fits you will be fading away slowly. Only what resonate can be in your reality.We first create everything we see in our lives on an energetic level. Feelings flow out of thoughts creating your emotions and your emotions are the energy that will eventually make things manifest. Life is not a test it’s a choice and it starts with every thought you choose. Sort them out and start playing the game. Don’t let anyone serve up… serve yourself.

With all my love, Tineke


your dream is a gift of life

And we should never leave it alone. It’s a present wrapped in life’s paper. The inside calling to you and you know it’s beautiful. Still we wait… we don’t start unwrapping but carry it in our hand. Like a burden. Not realizing the value that we carry with us all the time.

It’s the fire that keeps us warm. Really it’s just having the dream that makes you live. That keeps you going every day again. That makes you start again after every time you fail because each time you get closer you feel the fire warm you. You feel it ignite the light that lays awaiting.. dormant.. for you to wake her up and feed her with your souls delight. Every time you let her flow through you .. you remember the real reason. You know you are that shining season.

We will always be pulled by this inner desire to open our gift and share it with the world. Share ourselves with the world. What a beautiful world it would be. If we all got to see and share our gifts.

And if you want it or not it will move you until you take action. And only if you do will the real you shine through. Fully. You will know a happiness unknown to the known. And you will shine like the radiant star that you are. The precious love that you were carved out to be. For all to see.

Your gift brings along your beautiful  inner song to sing on the stage of life. It will make you thrive beyond your wildest dreams. So grab it with both hands.

Life is a beautiful surprise if you let it. Synchronicity will cross your path and make you drop your jaws. You will be guided by the unknown. It will give you signs. It will.. don’t worry.. it will. But you have to surrender.

You have to render control. Of how you think things should be or go.

And once you opened it.. it won’t leave you  alone. It will be that one thing that keeps you going infinitely untill  you succeed. And that only is worth living for…

feeling the fire..


the love of your life

is YOU

and what you came to do






Have a better dream

It was a couple of years ago that this statement came on my path. “One day you will stand in front of something you find so beautiful and you will be satisfied just by looking at it”. You can love it at a distance without needing it was what they meant to say. ONE day? NO way was more like it! I wanted it ALL and I wanted it NOW!

I honestly could not belief that I could ever NOT want what I wanted without at some point having it. But it triggered something in me that made me want to investigate this deeper and so I started consciously experimenting with this phenomenon. Imagining how it would feel if I would never get it.. how would that be. Bit by bit I came to the conclusion that a LOT OF STUFF I could really easily let go of.. I came to realize that a lot of things is just wanting on automatic pilot.

Later on when I went deeper I came to understand something that I had known all along but this time on a much deeper level. We buy, and smoke and eat… we get addicted to compensate for what we don’t have, for the love we don’t have. And so for the feelings that we don’t WANT to have. And.. there are different levels of that… but I was graduating on the highest level possible haha. My closets.. filled with clothes that I had hardly or NOT worn at all.

Anyway the more I shifted to not needing by personal growth the more room came available to grow towards my dream. This was not something that I was aware of but when I look back I can see that the more you get in alignment with yourself by love and acceptance the more your true self comes looking around the corner of your life and the more you will naturally thrive. And really… once that happened.. I really did not have the urge to want something on that level anymore. Those things become less important once you discover the real importance of your life. And then that will give you all the satisfaction you need and nothing….. really no material thing can compete.

By the way….

I still love clothes, shoes and lots of other beautiful stuff 😉

but I now have the freedom of loving it without needing it

appreciating it from a distance

and if I have it I can enjoy it in freedom

without the burden of fear of losing it

and not having it again .. because I did not

need it in the first place

when you no longer need

you’ll know the feeling

of being freed

And the dream…


maybe not right away…

but you can have it all